Things That Are Really Gross

Of all the things I've been thinking about lately that amuse me, I'm going with this: Things That Are Really Gross. I don't know why, but things that gross me out to a certain degree make me laugh. A lot of times, the humor comes out at the exact time that the grossness is at its peak, resulting in a serious case of the giggles. Sometimes, you can't (and probably shouldn't) see the humor in a gross situation until well after you are removed from the event. Like maybe you are driving down the highway and you glance back at your two year old to see a despondent expression on her little face right before she starts blowing chunks all over herself, your iPad, her carseat, and the car floor. Now you are driving a screaming, crying 2 year old covered in her own vomit down the highway, as you desperately look for an exit and try not to lose your lunch as well. (How is it that one small bowl of macaroni and cheese can transform into thirty liters of vomit when it comes back up? ....Oh, and add a little bit of partially digested chocolate pudding to that mix. (*dry heaves*)) Nothing about this situation struck me as funny at the time. I felt too bad for my little girl. Poor thing. But the odor in my car lasted longer than the distress of this particular incident. I was grossing out friends and relatives recounting the vomit tale within a day. (Who doesn't appreciated a good vomit story?)

But sometimes, the amount of grossness is at just the right level for you to start enjoying it immediately. For instance, what is the grossest bug you could possibly imagine? Right, the silverfish. Silverfish hold the title for grossest bugs on the face of the earth. *shudder*

So yesterday morning, when I found a silverfish of record size in the bathroom sink, I was delighted to share the news with my little girl. (She had just been given a "bug kit" to further her research in entomology.) As I predicted, excitement ensued. 

"Get the bug kit!"
"Where are the tweezers?" (Not eyebrow plucking tweezers....the kind used to catch bugs and put them in a bug kit. I don't know if they have a special name.)
"Catch it! Catch it! Catch it!!!!!"

Me (bug catching tweezers in hand):
"Eeeeewwww. I can't believe I'm doing this. I hate silverfish."
"Eeewww. Eeeewww. Eeeewww!"
"Man, these guys are so fast."
"Eeewww." (giggles)
"Eew, eew, I got it, eew, I can't believe I'm doing this. Ew. Okay, here I got it. I may have maimed him a bit. No, wait, he's moving. He's still alive. Eew."

Actually, I took this picture later in the evening. Turns out the bug kit must have special exterminating powers.
Now if you are wondering why I was the one doing all the heavy lifting in this scenario, it is because my daughter was doing pee-pees on the potty. I try to facilitate these efforts whenever possible. So, yesterday morning I caught my first silverfish and it was just as gross as I would have ever imagined it to be.

But that is not the only really gross thing that inspired this post. Oh yes...."But wait, there's more."

It is actually the following recipe that I found in a magazine yesterday evening that inspired me to ponder things that are really gross. If I had a pinterest account, I would definitely pin it up there. In fact, I may have to get a pinterest account so I can do just that.

Source: Suburban Parent "magazine"
Yes, that's right. They are suggesting that you can take this little shortcut to make your own "homemade corndogs". Just cut up hot dogs and mix them into your cornbread muffin mix and bake. ?....??....?!....
*dry heaves*
(Did they really think a picture of hot dog muffins would bring this idea home?)


Ugh. Where do I start?

I have been such a bad blogger lately. First I just gave up on the A-Z Challenge. That was a decision. Probably a good one for all involved. (Meaning me, my attention starved daughter, and my attention starved husband.) Then I just gave up on blogging entirely. No more writing, barely reading, and basically, not caring. But now where does that leave me..........

Well, it leaves me returning to the old, non-blogging me, and I don't like that me. She is way too serious and not great at finding the humor in most situations. She ruminates and has a hard time directing her thoughts. She is dancing a lot these days, but "thinking" too much in between. (And, basically every joint in her body is popping when she moves because she is too old to be doing so much dancing.) The old, non-blogging me is starting to annoy me so I'm saying good-bye to her. Now I just need to tap into the balanced blogging me. She is somewhere between the non-blogging me and the X-treme blogging me. I am obviously not channeling the balanced blogging me yet, because the balanced blogging me would not still be typing right now, making herself late for a friend's baby shower.........

......or would she....?