Friday

Things That Are Really Gross

Of all the things I've been thinking about lately that amuse me, I'm going with this: Things That Are Really Gross. I don't know why, but things that gross me out to a certain degree make me laugh. A lot of times, the humor comes out at the exact time that the grossness is at its peak, resulting in a serious case of the giggles. Sometimes, you can't (and probably shouldn't) see the humor in a gross situation until well after you are removed from the event. Like maybe you are driving down the highway and you glance back at your two year old to see a despondent expression on her little face right before she starts blowing chunks all over herself, your iPad, her carseat, and the car floor. Now you are driving a screaming, crying 2 year old covered in her own vomit down the highway, as you desperately look for an exit and try not to lose your lunch as well. (How is it that one small bowl of macaroni and cheese can transform into thirty liters of vomit when it comes back up? ....Oh, and add a little bit of partially digested chocolate pudding to that mix. (*dry heaves*)) Nothing about this situation struck me as funny at the time. I felt too bad for my little girl. Poor thing. But the odor in my car lasted longer than the distress of this particular incident. I was grossing out friends and relatives recounting the vomit tale within a day. (Who doesn't appreciated a good vomit story?)

But sometimes, the amount of grossness is at just the right level for you to start enjoying it immediately. For instance, what is the grossest bug you could possibly imagine? Right, the silverfish. Silverfish hold the title for grossest bugs on the face of the earth. *shudder*

So yesterday morning, when I found a silverfish of record size in the bathroom sink, I was delighted to share the news with my little girl. (She had just been given a "bug kit" to further her research in entomology.) As I predicted, excitement ensued. 

C:
"Get the bug kit!"
"Where are the tweezers?" (Not eyebrow plucking tweezers....the kind used to catch bugs and put them in a bug kit. I don't know if they have a special name.)
"Catch it! Catch it! Catch it!!!!!"

Me (bug catching tweezers in hand):
"Eeeeewwww. I can't believe I'm doing this. I hate silverfish."
"Eeewww. Eeeewww. Eeeewww!"
"Man, these guys are so fast."
"Eeewww." (giggles)
"Eew, eew, I got it, eew, I can't believe I'm doing this. Ew. Okay, here I got it. I may have maimed him a bit. No, wait, he's moving. He's still alive. Eew."

Actually, I took this picture later in the evening. Turns out the bug kit must have special exterminating powers.
Now if you are wondering why I was the one doing all the heavy lifting in this scenario, it is because my daughter was doing pee-pees on the potty. I try to facilitate these efforts whenever possible. So, yesterday morning I caught my first silverfish and it was just as gross as I would have ever imagined it to be.

But that is not the only really gross thing that inspired this post. Oh yes...."But wait, there's more."

It is actually the following recipe that I found in a magazine yesterday evening that inspired me to ponder things that are really gross. If I had a pinterest account, I would definitely pin it up there. In fact, I may have to get a pinterest account so I can do just that.

Source: Suburban Parent "magazine"
Yes, that's right. They are suggesting that you can take this little shortcut to make your own "homemade corndogs". Just cut up hot dogs and mix them into your cornbread muffin mix and bake. ?....??....?!....
*shudder*
*dry heaves*
*giggles*
(Did they really think a picture of hot dog muffins would bring this idea home?)

10 comments:

  1. Silverfish are way gross. I would never catch one for my daughter unless I stomped it to death first with my husband steel toed work boots while he was wearing them. You are certainly a brave mommy.

    I reserve the same disgust for earwigs. While silverfish are gross, earwigs inspire terror!

    And the corn dog muffin? Gag! Although...maybe it would work if instead of a muffin with cut up pieces, use the whole dog in the mini loaf pans? I say maybe because I am actually skeptical of the whole corn dog thing anyway.

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  2. I have a vomit story.
    It was Christmas, family was over but EVERYONE got sick the night before. My son, who did have the puke bucket beside his bed, decided he could make it to the bathroom. Large trail of projectile vomit all the way down the hallway wall, and floor into the bathroom, ending only feet before the toilet. Being the only one mobile, yet sick myself, had to scrub the mess out of the carpet in between stopping to puke myself. Worst Christmas gift ever!

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  3. Strangely silverfish are the cleanest insect in the world and will live quite happily with humans. I have always just left them to get on with life and scurry about. They love Elvis songs

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    1. That is really good to know, because although we don't listen to a lot of Elvis, my daughter put the bug catching tweezers in her mouth (she was holding her tongue with them, obviously) after we caught the silverfish. I feel better about that now.

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  4. ewwwwwwwwww
    I hate those bugs!
    and corndog muffins sound almost as gross as the story of the guy eating the other guys face I heard on the news this morning

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  5. seriously gross eeww silverfish yuck LOL you made me laugh though thanks

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  6. I can't believe you dont put cockroaches up there as no 1 most disgusting insect on the planet. A nice big juicy black cockroach will have me dry heaving in a second, although I did have a small gag at the tweezers in your daughter's mouth. No kisses for her until she gargles.
    (just passing by from the A - Z, feel free to drop by)

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  7. My inner 12 year old boy is loving the corndogs. That is disgusting!

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  8. hot dog corn muffins--your take on those made me laugh out loud after just stumbling across your blog : ) and by the way LOVE your diy toilet fix ; )

    i await your dry heave muffins pin on pinterest!!!

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