Saturday

You Can't Fake "Cool"

I know this. Because I now know, without a doubt, that I am sooo not cool. I had always suspected this to be the case, but today I was able to confirm it. I just took my first hip-hop dance class with a bunch of dancers who were all cool. I stood out like the "tall, skinny white chick who is trying to hide in the back row but is conspicuously wearing anal yoga clothes," that I was.  (Believe me, yoga clothes look anal in a hip-hop class, so if you finally get your courage up to try your first one, do not wear the fruity garb that you would normally wear to yoga. Wear anything but that. Seriously. Wear your pajamas, your jeans, your lounging around the house on Sunday clothes, or dress to the nines. But do not wear yoga clothes. The only thing that would look more anal and uptight in a hip-hop class might be your "ladies' tennis league" clothes, but just by a hair.) I was the one who you took pity on because she was just painful to watch. No, not like in a "ha-ha, she's totally off the beat" or "look at that one who's doing her own thing" kind of way. No. The one you are watching, like at a recital, thinking, "oh, I would not want to be her." You don't even lean over and laugh at her with the person next to you because it is really just too sad to be funny. That's the one I would have been if this had been a recital. I would have been the one who is actually able to make the audience feel uncomfortable because they can not jump up from their seats, rush up on the stage and physically stop her from completely and publicly humiliating herself and her family in the process.

And the instructor took a video, so there is proof of this.....somewhere.....

Seeing my reflection this morning in the mirrors of the classroom, I now know the reason there is no reality TV show titled, "So You Know You Can't Dance". People don't want to see that. Trust me.

I will be returning to class next Saturday, though, in the hopes that some coolness will rub off on me. (Plus, I spent hours this evening studying Ciara music videos, so that should really help a lot.)

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