For my next installment of my "How to Be Cool...(like me)" series, I will illustrate the Brute Force Coolness technique that I rely on heavily. First familiarize yourself with artist: LMFAO, song: "I'm Sexy and I Know It". (whatever...I've already publicly stated that I have the emotional integrity of a juvenile, so get over it.)
Now, whenever you are obsessively wallowing in self-pity, facing down public rejection and humiliation, finding yourself completely misunderstood and alone in the universe and blogosphere, repeat: "I'm cool and I know it", ad infinitum. I know. It doesn't seem like you will get anywhere with this mantra at first. You have to be a little patient. Let the sun rise and set a couple of times on the "I'm cool and I know it" mantra playing inside your head. Take a walk, go to the gym, hug your friend, make cheese, whatever it is you do when you are not on Facebook, or tweeting, or texting; but keep practicing the mantra. It takes a lot of practice unless you are naturally inclined to being cool and knowing it.
Sometimes you are not going to get the recognition you are looking for, you are not going to be included in "that" group, you are not going "connect", and that's okay...(seriously, it really does happen to everyone, or at least it has happened to someone (hi, me)). Your brute force go to technique is: "I'm cool and I know it."
Now I, for one, am going to go out and buy some leopard print pants at Target today. (Yes they do have them, I saw them yesterday.) Who's with me?!