Saturday

How to be Cool - The Brute Force Method

For my next installment of my "How to Be Cool...(like me)" series, I will illustrate the Brute Force Coolness technique that I rely on heavily. First familiarize yourself with artist: LMFAO, song: "I'm Sexy and I Know It". (whatever...I've already publicly stated that I have the emotional integrity of a juvenile, so get over it.)

Now, whenever you are obsessively wallowing in self-pity, facing down public rejection and humiliation, finding yourself completely misunderstood and alone in the universe and blogosphere, repeat: "I'm cool and I know it", ad infinitum. I know. It doesn't seem like you will get anywhere with this mantra at first. You have to be a little patient. Let the sun rise and set a couple of times on the "I'm cool and I know it" mantra playing inside your head. Take a walk, go to the gym, hug your friend, make cheese, whatever it is you do when you are not on Facebook, or tweeting, or texting; but keep practicing the mantra. It takes a lot of practice unless you are naturally inclined to being cool and knowing it.

Sometimes you are not going to get the recognition you are looking for, you are not going to be included in "that" group, you are not going "connect", and that's okay...(seriously, it really does happen to everyone, or at least it has happened to someone (hi, me)). Your brute force go to technique is: "I'm cool and I know it."

Now I, for one, am going to go out and buy some leopard print pants at Target today. (Yes they do have them, I saw them yesterday.) Who's with me?!

7 comments:

  1. In our house that song is known by our 2 year old daughter as "Daddy's song". We dance to it in the car.
    Valid points, and things I need to keep in mind.

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    1. So cute! Clara sings it as "I'm sixty and I know it". I think she's on to something with that one.
      :o)

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    2. I do not have a plan for when my 2 year old says "I'm sexy and I know it". Should be interesting.

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  2. No leopard print for me, but I'll still sing with you!!

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  3. I'm with you on the leaopard pants. I've always dreamed of being a savage jungle cat... or at least have my legs look like one.

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  4. I've always dreamed of being Salma Hayek. The leopard pants are not going to help at all with that dream, no matter which high-heels I pair with them. But savage jungle cat legs = awesomeness no matter who you are!

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Go ahead, make my day.