Friday

How to be Cool...(like me)

I'm guessing if you are a blogger, you probably fall into one of three categories: a) not very cool, b) cool, but could be cooler, c) so cool that when you walk in a room everyone begins to shiver and wonders what just happened and then they look over and see you have entered the room and they all think, "Oh, it's just an incredibly cool person in the immediate vicinity whose very presence is altering the ambient temperature of the room."

If you fall into category C, (you people know who you are), no need for you to read the rest of this post. However, if you wavier somewhere between categories  A and B, this new series on "How to be Cool...(like me)", may be just what you need to develop the skills to be cool, like me, and the rest of us cool people. So by all means, keep reading.

Like anything worth doing, being cool takes commitment, learning new skills, and practice. Admittedly, some people are born with a natural gift to just "be cool", but for most of us, it takes a strict regimen of training, rap music, and refinement. There is a fine line between being cool and just being a big jerk. (Although, sometimes being a big jerk and simply accepting it is the essence of cool, as evidenced by these other bloggers.)

So stop procrastinating and let me help you navigate the road to "coolness". We've all heard the saying, "coolness is next to godliness" at least a dozen times. Why wait any longer? Tune in to this weekly (maybe) primer and let me guide you through the paces while you hone your coolness skills. And if you are not cooler by the end of the series, there is a guaranteed full refund.

Congratulations! By reading this post and deciding to become a cooler person, you have just completed step 1 in the yet to be determined number of steps primer of the very, very new "How to be Cool...(like me)" series. See how easy that was! Now go congratulate yourself. Find the closest mirror and look at the marginally cooler you. Can you see it? Raise your eyebrows, lower your chin, squint a little bit. Cooler, right? Yeah, baby, you know it!

6 comments:

  1. Ya got me! I'm so cool that I no longer walk into rooms anywhere so that no one begins to shiver and wonder.

    But I admit, I am only 'so cool' to a given value of 'so cool'.

    Pretty high 'value' though!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Symdaddy, for catching what was clearly an oversight on my part. Category D: so cool that you don't even walk into rooms, you just occupy them...kind of like a gas, like a coolness gas, where your cool presence expands to occupy any space in which you are contained. This means we now have a way to measure coolness with Ideal Cool Law
      PV=nRT
      I'm pretty sure this is where you were heading with your comment, Symdaddy.

      Delete
  2. Es gibt Bildung und es gibt Einbildung.
    .
    I am a serious case, for I fall under a) § 1: Not very cool AND not really sure why feeling cool is a paramount paradigm.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Weissdorn,
      First of all, you score points for being, at the very least, bilingual. So, whether you like it or not, that gets you out of category A. Plus, I had to spend at least 5 minutes on google to figure out what half of your comments meant, so that's gotta count for something. (And I didn't even get to the part that's in German!) Now that I think about it, I have never met anyone who didn't possess some degree of coolness. Then, of course, there's the whole timing issue, and the relative coolness factor, etc. I may have to rethink the categorical approach and come up a more sophisticated assessment.

      Delete
  3. Is this cool gas scented? It probably should smell like bacon, money, and awesome.

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    Replies
    1. I was thinking bubble gum, hairspray, and awesome. Maybe it's gender specific?

      Delete

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